Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert Just Made the Jade Helm Conspiracy Garbage Even More Ridiculous

louie-gohmertI miss the days when the most you ever heard from ridiculous conspiracy theorists was on the public-access channels on cable, a random flier you might find on your car or when you happened to have an encounter with your creepy neighbor who seemed to always be peeking through their blinds.

Sadly, those days are long gone.

With the rise of the Internet, and more importantly social media, these people – who would otherwise be hiding out in a basement somewhere wearing a tinfoil hat – have now suddenly been given the ability to spew their insanity to the entire world. That’s how this entire Jade Helm conspiracy nonsense grew into “a thing.” And trust me when I say that these people who believe in this absurdity aren’t joking, they honestly believe that the Obama administration is planning to invade Texas (as well as several other states) and declare martial law.

Matters weren’t helped much when Texas Governor Greg Abbott ordered the Texas Guard to monitor the activity of the U.S. military in his state, to ensure nothing suspicious was going on; a move which was so preposterous that it drove former Republican Texas Rep. Todd Smith to write to Abbott begging him to stop “pandering to idiots.”

Even Jon Stewart weighed in, reminding these people that the United States government already controls Texas. 

But just when you thought this entire situation couldn’t get any worse, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) decided he needed to address the situation and prove that he could absolutely make this entire situation even more ludicrous:

Once I observed the map depicting ‘hostile,’ ‘permissive,’ and ‘uncertain’ states and locations, I was rather appalled that the hostile areas amazingly have a Republican majority, ‘cling to their guns and religion,’ and believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution. When the federal government begins, even in practice, games or exercises, to consider any U.S. city or state in ‘hostile’ control and trying to retake it, the message becomes extremely calloused and suspicious.

Such labeling by a government that is normally not allowed to use military force against its own citizens is an affront to the residents of that particular state considered as ‘hostile,’ as if the government is trying to provoke a fight with them. The map of the exercise needs to change, the names on the map need to change, and the tone of the exercise needs to be completely revamped so the federal government is not intentionally practicing war against its own states.

Yes, that’s a member of our Congress saying he believes these conspiracy theories have some validity behind them… because of the way the military labeled the map outlying the exercise. And he is apparently very offended that they dared to label some areas that happened to coincide with Republican states (such as Texas) “hostile.”

I just don’t know what to say anymore. Tea party fear-mongering and propaganda has become so over-the-top that some conservatives have been driven even more irrationally paranoid of anything and everything that the military or President Obama himself does.

Apparently the way the military labels a map for an extensive training exercise is now a “legitimate” reason to believe that the federal government is about to declare martial law over several states. I’m sorry, but that’s just flat-out mentally unstable. If you’re someone who honestly believes that the Obama administration is preparing to invade several states to declare martial law – you’re absolutely out of your damn mind.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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