Texas Representative: Ban Abortion After 15 Weeks Because Fetuses Pleasure Themselves

burgessLet me start by saying, no—this is not satire.  Even at my most creative I don’t believe I could have come up with a story this asinine or absurd, nor would I even want to try.

My home state of Texas has done it again.  Last night, House Representative Michael Burgess took the position that abortions should be illegal after 15 weeks because he believes that he’s seen male fetuses put their hands between their legs and feel pleasure.

Take a moment and let that sink in before continuing.

The statement from Burgess was made in support of a bill proposed by an Arizona Republican House Representative Trent Franks, who’s just as delusional as Mr. Burgess.  Franks recently stated, “The incidence of rape resulting in pregnancy are very low.”  His comments were made in defense of a bill that, in its original form, didn’t allow exceptions for rape or incest.  Following the backlash stemming from Franks’ idiotic comments about rape,  exceptions for rape and incest were suddenly added to the bill.

And the “party of stupid” strikes again.

Though it is somewhat ironic that the party which often stands fiercely against sex education, is now attempting to use the “immoral act” of “pleasuring oneself” as a tool to support a bill that would take away more control a woman has over her own body.

But apparently, according to Burgess, only male fetuses “put their hands between their legs.”  In fact, his statements specifically point out males for this behavior:

“Watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful.  They stroke their face.  If they’re a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs.  If they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to think that they could feel pain?”

So not only are his statements completely delusional, weird and creepy, but he manages to be even more sexist by suggesting that only male fetuses pleasure themselves at this stage of development.  I can’t even believe I just typed that sentence, much less that an elected official could be this certifiably insane.

If you actually read about the development of a fetus, most experts will tell you it’s hard to differentiate between male and female sex organs, and it’s actually around 18 weeks that a more accurate determination of the sex of the fetus can be made.

Another terrifying aspect to this is the fact that this man is an ex OB/GYN.  How any female sat in his office and let him examine them, listening to his “professional opinion” on matters of their health, is simply shocking.

One has to wonder if he ever said to a woman, “Look, it’s a boy and he’s healthy—see, he’s pleasuring himself.”

I highly doubt it.

As the saying goes, “You can’t fix stupid.”  And looking at the behavior by quite a few members of the Republican party (following the 2012 elections), many of them are determined to prove that statement correct beyond any shadow of a doubt.  Or shadow of a hand, apparently. 

EDITED TO ADD: Feel free to stop by Rep. Burgess’ Facebook page and let him know what you think of his disgusting comments.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • kurtsteinbach

    I understand why he is an EX-OB/GYN….

  • LGWolf

    He should know all about self pleasuring a miniscule dick,

  • Brenda Gilbert

    Like the article says “More from stupid.” God I hope they really don’t believe the masses believe all the stupidity., I don’t know how much more I can take from these morons.

  • adura

    How sick!! Seriously only a very sick man would even think of such things concerning such a sweet and innocent individual. and a complete idiot! babies cannot even control their movements until they are several months old! I have twins and they still have trouble doing what they want their hands to do and they are six months old! P.O.S.!!!

  • Michael J Watts

    This guy is my congressman. He once cried about replacing his light bulbs. Don’t believe me: google it.

    I would be better off represented by an empty chair.

    • Perla

      the ones he doesn’t have in his head?

    • kurtsteinbach

      I hate add to your pain, but when I saw this story on TRMS, I laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair….

  • Allen Welborn

    Allen, you attempt to thwart the illogical with the logical. You don’t get it because you are not meant to. Most of the “knuckle dragging republican idiots” living their 15 minutes of fame do so only because abortion wasn’t easily available to their mothers. Their diatribe is not meant for those of us higher on the evolutionary chain. It is meant for those among us who were dropped on their head at birth, drank bleach from under the sink, cleaned their bathrooms with bleach and ammonia, played in the runoff from the sewage plant or are the product of the type of sibling love only know to hillbillies. But I do love you column.

  • Obediah

    “How any female sat in his office and let him examine them…” Wait, what? How did a single female become plural? Didn’t you mean to say, “How any female sat in his office and let him examine her…”?

    • kurtsteinbach

      That may be why he is an ex-OB/GYN. I wonder why he is an ex-OB/GYN? I have an Uncle who is a doctor, a sister who is a Nurse Practitioner, a brother in-law who is an RN, a cousin who is a hospital pharmacist, and her husband is a retail pharmacist. Just because you stop practicing medicine, and say run for and serve in Congress, does not make you an ex-doctor. Bill Frist was not called an ex-doctor when he was a Senator. He is still a doctor. I wonder if this guy’s license to practice medicine was yanked. His parents should certainly ask his colleges for their money back!

  • Steve

    So this man publicly admits to watching child porn…

  • Ellie Bell

    This makes me sick. As a women who had a third daughter because her DR. (male) said that it was my obligation to give my husband a male a son. So I went along with it even though I wanted my tubes tied and surprise another daughter. The republicans are racist in the fact that females are below them.
    I love my daughter but I divorced that husband and he had a son that he denied till the boy was 11.
    Talk about 2 faced.

    • jake

      “The republicans are racist in the fact that females are below them.”

      That’s called Sexism… You ruined any sense of argument with that one sentence.

  • Colleen Ryan

    What kind of kool-aid are these people drinking?? I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life!!! I’m beginning to believe that these idiots need to pass an IQ test before they are allowed to serve in Congress!! When HE is the one who is pregnant…then and only then should he be allowed discourse on this matter!! God save us all!!!

    • John Britain

      Since he managed to achieve a doctorate, his IQ is significantly higher than average. The average college graduate is at least 1 standard deviation higher than the average american(The average is actually 2 deviations at about 130). Chances are his IQ is significantly above the national average. IQ tests are not the solution you’re looking for as people of “higher intelligence” still have massively differing life views.

      • kurtsteinbach

        More proof that Fox makes you stupid.

  • mother of logic

    And you know what is the first thing he will recommend to do to these baby boys, as soon as they leave the womb? Snip of that foreskin, so they don’t pleasure themselves (or at least with less pleasure). He will probably even explain to the new parents that anesthesia is not necessary because baby’s at this age “don’t feel any pain’. U-hu.

    • John Britain

      I always heard it was don’t remember the pain.

  • Jim Tarvin

    Would watching a sonogram of a child masterbate be considered child porn? What the hell is wrong with these people? These unending ridiculous arguments is like watching a Warner Brothers cartoon, will they ever catch that cwafty wabbit!?!

  • kat

    Why would a “De-fund Planned Parenthood” ad pop up on this page?

  • christian_707

    Sad that it is disturbed people like that who got elected to represent Americans.

  • Dide

    I would think that he would be against any child pleasuring themselves
    So maybe it’s best if they don’t populate the earth unless the mothers are very sure they can handle them.

  • Martha

    Late night comics can’t write better stuff! These Republican’s are going over the cliff (who is going with them?) This Burgess is NUTTS!!! AND COULD BE THE PEEPING TOM OF HIS NEIGHBORHOOD!! Why would any woman want him as her OB/GYN or represent her in Congress?????

  • Edward Baker

    I dont know about you ,but I have no recollection of my time in the womb and I do believe this guy Does pleasure himself while thinking of a male child ….

  • Jax

    You can’t fix stupid but in Texas you can vote it in!!

  • paulr123us

    its simple dont reelect these morons. it is everyones right to know their states elected officials.and if you dont know them read about them and then dont reelect them no matter what they say.

  • David Kempton

    The REAL question is, why do we vote in such ignoranuses in the FIRST place? (And why do the Greedy Old Pervs nominate these fools?)

    As long as we (the ‘people without corporate charters’) continue to allow these monsters to dominate the political landscape, we have NO viable options.

    We need to pass a Constitutional Amendment that guarantees that ALL elected officials must have an IQ higher than a cannelloni…)

    But the truth is far more pernicious and anti-human. The GOP appoints anti-science Christian Rapture-seekers to FUND and support science. They push education platforms that teach your child to be stupid, superstitious and unable to think for him/herself, and call it “fair and balanced,” evolution vs creationism, put Republican Jesus and Ronald Reagan into every classroom. It used to be “no child able to find his own behind”, now it’s Common Creationist Core. Then we wonder why we are no longer in the forefront of technological innovation. (It’s cheaper if it comes from China – never mind that the inevitable result is the US becomes Guatemala, with riot police on every corner and not a job in sight except police and private security for the rich….).

  • Pjs8200

    Not to be a dick, but if the fetus is aborted, why is this even a conversation?

  • KHAN

    He should know all about self pleasuring a small penis,