I woke up this morning to see that the United States had finally reached a nuclear deal with Iran, and I instantly knew that Republicans were going to have a meltdown (no pun intended) over the agreement. Sure enough, I looked over the wretched hive of scum and villainy known as the comments section on my local news channel’s Facebook page, and witnessed people who probably couldn’t even find Iran on a map losing their minds. It was the usual manifestation of Obama Derangement Syndrome, turned up to 11, complete with misspelled and all caps rants about how President Obama was a secret Muslim communist Kenyan agent intent on destroying capitalism and America as we know it.
Granted, these are people who would respond to a news story where President Obama saved a basket of adorable kittens by asking why he hated puppies, and someone would eventually say it’s further proof he is actually a Muslim. That’s the level of stupid we’re talking about here – but let’s not forget that these people vote, and they support candidates who feed them jingoistic phrases which usually involve bombing someone or kicking their ass as a solution to everything. It’s bumper sticker politics, designed to appeal to the lowest level of political understanding.
Jeb Bush posted this statement on his official campaign page:
The clerical leaders in Tehran routinely preach “death to America” and “death to Israel” – and through their acts of terror, they mean it. We must take these threats seriously and should not base any agreements on the hope their behavior will moderate over time.
The people of Iran, the region, Israel, America, and the world deserve better than a deal that consolidates the grip on power of the violent revolutionary clerics who rule Tehran with an iron fist.
This isn’t diplomacy – it is appeasement. (Source)
Lindsey Graham, who never seems to miss a chance to send our troops off to another war, also weighed in:
“If the initial reports regarding the details of this deal hold true, there’s no way as president of the United States I would honor this deal,” Graham said. “It’s incredibly dangerous for our national security, and it’s akin to declaring war on Sunni Arabs and Israel by the P5+1 because it ensures their primary antagonist Iran will become a nuclear power and allows them to rearm conventionally.” (Source)
When you negotiate with other people, whether it involves buying a new car or hammering out a complex nuclear deal, you aren’t going to get everything you want. I’m sure that the hardliners in Iran, like the hardliners here in the United States, were not too happy with the outcome of the deal either. Republican politicians and the defense industry contractors who line their pockets with campaign donations have done everything they can to undermine the negotiations, including Sen. Tom Cotton’s infamous 47 senators letter that Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal later signed in a desperate plea for attention.
It isn’t just the defense industry that was excited about the possibility of an armed conflict with Iran; religious extremists here in the United States were absolutely giddy at the thought of another regional conflict because they saw it as part of the necessary progression of events that lead to the return of Jesus. American lawmakers like Louie Gohmert represent a very warped, bizarre faction of Christians who believe a war with Iran wasn’t necessary just for national security, but it was divinely dictated, or a holy war.
Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee is one of those evangelical Christians, and he also added his opinion:
“Shame on the Obama administration for agreeing to a deal that empowers an evil Iranian regime to carry out its threat to ‘wipe Israel off the map’ and bring ‘death to America.’ John Kerry should have long ago gotten up on his crutches, walked out of the sham talks, and went straight to Jerusalem to stand next to Benjamin Netanyahu and declared that America will stand with Israel and the other sane governments of the Middle East instead of with the terrorist government of Iran,” Huckabee said in a statement. (Source)
The Iran nuclear deal was the best deal that we could get, especially since we are dealing with a country that isn’t exactly friendly to the United States government. But to the conservatives complaining about the outcome of the talks, nothing short of an American invasion of Iran resulting in further destabilization of the region which is already struggling to control ISIS would have been acceptable.
It’s further proof that Idiocracy, designed to be a fictional comedy, is rapidly becoming a real-life documentary on American politics.
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