Twitter Erupts into Mockery of Ted Cruz’s Candidacy for President with #TedCruzCampaignSlogans

Photo credit: REUTERS/Jim Bourg

Photo credit: REUTERS/Jim Bourg

Most of us have known for two years that this day was coming, but early this morning Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) officially announced his intention to run for president in 2016. While I loathe the man with just about every ounce of my being, I have to confess that I’ve been anxiously awaiting this announcement for the last two years. To be frank, a Ted Cruz presidential campaign is nothing but pure gold for political pundits and late night comedians.


Well, prior to his official announcement, Twitter erupted into a frenzy under the hashtag #TedCruzCampaignSlogans with people offering “suggestions” that the Texas senator might use heading into 2016.

And as most of you might expect, many of them were absolutely hilarious. Here are a few of my favorites:

While I think they’re all fairly hilarious, that last one really had me going.


I might be wrong, but I’m going to say it’s a fairly safe bet that the Republican National Committee hasn’t exactly been looking forward to this day. While many far-right conservatives are certainly celebrating Ted Cruz’s candidacy, those of us on the left are actually probably even more excited about it. Not only will he provide the left with plenty of material to make the Republican party look absolutely foolish, but he’s so full of himself that he’s going to be a one-man wrecking crew of other GOP candidates. I honestly don’t believe that there’s a level to which he won’t stoop to try to win the GOP nomination. If that means dragging other Republicans through the mud to do it, that’s exactly what he’ll do.

So get ready ladies and gentlemen, because Ted Cruz’s campaign promises to be one of the more ridiculous sideshows this country has ever seen.




Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

Comments

Facebook comments

  • wendy

    Let’s look at the bright side; after so many years of congressional dysfunction, we need the comical diversion. Laughter is contagious and healthy:)

  • Bonta-kun

    Ted Cruz 2016.

    Because Spider Jerusalem won’t be born for decades.

    • Trevor Bordelon

      Super huge upvote for the Transmet reference.

  • medcannabis1

    Ted Cruz trust in my God or my daddy will burn you at the stake

  • Matt DiGregory

    Carnival Cruz

  • DukeAJuke

    “My dad’s Cuban, I’m Canadian, Vote For Me Because Jesus.” – My favorite Twitter tweet of the day…

    • Morgan

      I kind of liked the one about riding into the White House the Republican way: on a dinosaur!

      • small girl

        GOD FORBID HE WINS.

    • Mike Mitchell

      I liked the Deep In the Heart of Batshit one

    • Dagitab

      Wait, “Twitter tweet”, you say? #Redundant

      • DukeAJuke

        That’s incorrect. Twitter is the name of the company/service. Submitting a “tweet” or “tweeting” specifically describes the act of posting a message.

      • Dagitab

        Of which ‘tweeting’ is a service most attributable to the company named “Twitter”. It’s like saying “I’ll give you a Facebook poke”, “Let me Plurk that on Plurk”, or “I want a Coca-cola Coke”.

      • DukeAJuke

        Ahh.. I stand corrected.

  • Paul Julian Gould

    Looking at a few of the FB comments on this thread, it’s obvious that the weird wing of the right wing doesn’t have any interest in issues, and bases their vote solely on how much they think their candidate pisses off the “libtards.”

    • Hassan Hamza

      That’s because “Let’s trash every social safety-net and give control of our country to the corporations” doesn’t fit on a bumper sticker.

      • Paul Julian Gould

        or 140 characters of a text message or tweet…

        Not to say either tech is inherently stupid, but it’s about the attention span and range of comprehension in all things for some people, obviously.

  • Dee Dee Oran

    Cruz/2016

  • Old Top Kick

    Cruz would lose to a rutabaga.

    • Thom

      Yes, but lets give him a fighting chance to prove it! For Jesus!!

      • FATTYWiley

        What is wrong with you?

    • Johnny

      Broccoli??

      • Old Top Kick

        I like broccoli. Make it brussel sprouts and you have a deal!

    • Vryus

      Are you saying Louie Gohmert should run? 🙂

      • Old Top Kick

        Nah, Louie is the asparagus. They’d both lose to a rutabaga, though.

    • Jimijams

      If somehow he pulls of the nominee, he will end up getting less votes than third party candidates,

      • Old Top Kick

        #YouCruzYouLose

  • Mi llamo es Ted there, eh?

  • CeeBee

    Wow. He’s got a long hard slog. Lots of time to make some truly bad statements–like announcing from a fundamentalist school dais, with every other word about god or jesus. I liked how he intimated that he and only he, could really close the borders. Too late! He’s here already

  • lachef

    Brilliant!–“Someone please
    tell this immigrant that hates immigrants that they can’t run for President.
    -.-“

  • Florine Fefe Thompson

    Better watch what you say he’s got a real mean and nasty daddy who profest to be a pastor

  • Gail Sims Smith

    Rafael Cruz, the anti-immigration immigrant, Canadian-born with Cuban
    heritage, who is trying to rebrand himself as a good old boy southern
    Anglo named “Ted” because his bigoted base are unlikely to vote for
    anyone named Rafael.

    • Morgan

      Or a Louisiana governor named “Piyush.”

      • nonyabizzz

        well, jindals’ missteps are easily crushed under their own weight…

      • Cufmann

        Another bigoted liberal.

      • Old Top Kick

        Another #ReichWing #DroolMonkey

      • Cufmann

        Another boring drive-by lackey.

      • Old Top Kick

        Like breeds like, ya flaming clot. You’re the idiot who’s trolling a progressive site.

      • FATTYWiley

        Go Fook yourself moron

      • Old Top Kick

        How original. Have a cookie and then go #2A yourself.

      • Cufmann

        What is a flaming clot, pray tell?

      • FATTYWiley

        They are all libtards

      • Cufmann

        Few of them think, FATTYWiley. Few read anything other than your standard fare liberal blog regurgitation from Media Matters or Comedy Central.

      • Old Top Kick

        Beats the fuck out of vegetating in front of Faux Spews and rotting your brains.

      • Cufmann

        Most trusted name in news, Old Top. Confirmed by Quinnipiac polling.

        Fair, balanced, and unafraid.

        You just keep laughing at every Jon Stewart clown act and pretend you’re getting the real news. That’s what Democrats want you to do. Gives you a sense of involvement and activism. Makes you feel part of it all. Like you’re cutting edge, instead of the trained seal that you are.

      • Cufmann

        FATTYWiley,

        Do you still live in a 600 sq foot matchbox condo with your pet tegu?

      • Old Top Kick

        Or a South Carolina governor named Nimrata Randhawa.

    • Cufmann

      Just like they didn’t vote for him when he ran for Senate.

      It’s obvious you’re the bigoted one here, Gail.

    • FATTYWiley

      How about you go on a diet, fat load

  • James Ripley

    TO THINK SOME OF YOU FOUL MOUTHED IDIOTS VOTE IS SCARY. YOU CANT TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY.

    • Liberals are the devil

      Hence…… Obama. Really scary thing is they will all vote for Hillary…..deleter of the free world.

      • DukeAJuke

        The only reason any leftist would vote for Hillary is if there weren’t any good alternatives. And right now there isn’t.

      • Old Top Kick

        Anyone who would vote for #DrLawnJockey is a drooling idiot.

      • Alex Peterson

        aren’t

  • moosewheless

    I just Love reading post from another brain dead “progressive” group. Truth is there is nothing progressive about them all they want is to control the masses with lies and debt. It’s even better when they get their butts kicked like they have in the last election. They even went so far as to break the law in TX and TX voted in even high numbers then every before for our freedom against the socialist progressive pigs. Just shows Conservative don’t need some one think of us or have Gov wipe our ass. “Progressives” can’t do anything for themselves.

    • Hassan Hamza

      Funny thing is I own a business, own my own hunting property, am debt free and I’m still a liberal. So go suck on it, moose dick.

      • Liberals are the devil

        You didn’t build that business. You didn’t earn the money to buy that property. You didn’t get debt free on your own. Someone else did that!

      • Hassan Hamza

        Yes, I had help building the business. Without a good friend fronting me $75,000 worth of motorcycle parts I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Everything else I did on my own. So you can eat a bag of dicks too.

        By the way, Pick One
        I pledge allegiance to:
        O The United States
        O Israel

    • Joe Brinker

      Your best buddy, GW took a positive budget down a rabbit hole to a negetive and LIED this nation into two wars which were never paid for (left off the books). To show the American public the true budget reallity Obama proceeded to put the actual true budget, in play. Go figure how you Righties can deny this truth.

    • Creeayshun Sighuntist

      Why do you hate America so much? And shouldn’t you be working instead of trolling?

  • Liberals are the devil

    If you still support barack and co after the last 6 years, do you really think people are going to take you seriously?

    • DukeAJuke

      Being prez is a tough job.. I don’t agree with everything the has done, but his heritage, name, and all the rabid hatters on the right, I do respect the man for what he has accomplished. Just take a look at your own life in comparison.

  • Jeffrey P. Garlach

    Ok, now you liberals can stick your heads back in your a$$holes where you’re most comfortable.

  • Altreg01

    SNL writers are in heaven, this idiot writes his own skits much like Caribou Barbie

  • Alex Peterson

    He is gonna make govt so small it will fit in my uterus!

    • overboosted

      Government is large now, but it still fits in your vagina and doesn’t even touch the sides!

      • Alex Peterson

        BAHAHAHAHAH – of course i must be a whore – i don’t agree with you! – you would silence me? stone me? beat me? kill me? How would you prefer to silence me? Ask your taliban buddies – they know how to stop women having opinions. Genital mutilation is a favorite with them….

      • overboosted

        No different than you calling people racists that don’t agree with you. Gotta love the progressive socialist hypocrisy. Don’t like it when your own Alinsky techniques are used against you -eh?

      • Alex Peterson

        i didn’t call you a racist in the above posts. tThat must have been the voices in your head.

  • Madam Mijanou

    No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty five years, and been fourteen Years a resident within the United States.

    • drock7

      excellent copy and paste job!

      • DukeAJuke

        She should have used quotes.. But it’s true nonetheless. The same right winger birthers that lost their minds over Obama’s birth location have to apply the same level of critique to Teddy.. His father was Cuban and his mother was Canadian. Ted was not born in this country, he was born in Canada.

  • David Allan Cole
  • Darth Darth Binks

    Vote for Ted or buuuurn in hell!

  • Dennis DiPentino

    First in The Arena, reminds me of what they warmed the lions up with… in Rome, he would have been first in, first eaten. . lol This idiot is just enough to make the rest of the Republican Candidates look plausible . . .! After The Clown, comes the Real Rodeo Events!

  • Creeayshun Sighuntist

    What is Ted Cruz’ approval rating again? 3%? He’s just another punchline to make the other GOPers appear to be sane.

  • David Holsten

    as long as we don’t put another Clinton in there or Bush we might stand a chance

  • small girl

    SORRY BUT THAT CRUZ IS NOT A PRODUCT OF TEXAS (GODFORBID) AND THANK GOD HE IS NOT A PRODUCT OF OUR USA. HOW IN THE WORLD HE WON HERE IS STILL A MYSTERY. ABOUT 99 PER CENT OF THE PEOPLE IN OUR PRECIOUS DO NOT LIKE HIM EITHER.PLEASE GOD PROTECT OUR TEXAS AND OUR USA FROM THIS EVIL THING. PRAYING GOD SENDS HIM OUTSIDE OUR USA ASAP.