The United States of Sarah Palin: Those Wonderful Creationists vs. That Liberally Biased Science

palin-idiotHey-a, it’s your good ol’ pal Sarah Palin back to let you know what’s on my mind.  And boy, do I have some stuff to say this week.  I don’t know if you fine folks have heard about this science fiction show called Cosmos, but if you haven’t, you should stay far away from this liberal nonsense.

This fella they have on there, Neil deGrasse Tyson, clearly isn’t qualified to talk about what created us humans and all the heavens.  Last time I checked, God made this planet that we live on in six days.  As far as I’m aware, Mr. Tyson isn’t a religious expert or biblical scholar. In fact, his name kind of sounds Muslim if you ask me.  And we all know Muslims hate Jesus.

But this guy gets on television, using all these big words, trying to convince folks that our universe and Earth are billions of years old.  Now isn’t that just ridiculous?  We all know the Bible says the Earth is 6,000 years old and God created everything in 6, 24 hour days.

I mean duh, it says it right there in the Bible.  What other proof do these God-hating liberals need?

It’s like our good pal Ken Ham says, “Were any of these people there when the Earth was created?  So how do they know?”  These scientists who call themselves “experts” are nothing more than a folksy bunch of science fiction loving mythology writers who just make up these really neat guesses that fool liberals, but they sure won’t fool us!

And evolution, gosh.  What a load of bull, am I right?  Answer me this Mr. Scientist, if we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?

We all know that the good Lord made this planet just a few thousand years ago for us all to live on.  We don’t need some fancy, educated liberal scientists to try to fill our head with all kinds of nonsense about billions of years and evolution.

God’s glory is found in our twinkling stars that are just a few thousand miles away, the majestic dinosaurs we once roamed the Earth with and His grace to give us the Bible full of every answer we would ever need.

Mr. Tyson can keep his anti-American, liberal lies in those science fiction books he holds so dear to himself, because we all know the real truth and we don’t need some fancy PhD to figure it out either – we just need our Bible and all the facts and truth that lies inside.

Until next week folks, God Bless America!

*The United States of Sarah Palin is a satirical piece written by Allen Clifton for Forward Progressives.

Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.


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