Watch As Ted Cruz Stars In One of The Most Desperate (and Bizarre) Campaign Videos I’ve Ever Seen

machine-gun-bacon-ted-cruzI’m sure we’ve all been there; you watch something so outrageous that it literally makes your jaw drop. Well, that’s exactly what happened after I watched one of the most bizarre quasi-campaign videos I’ve ever come across – at least from someone who’s supposed to be considered a “mainstream politician.” Typically campaign-related videos that are this bad, even if they’re not exactly the prototypical type of “I approve this message” ads with which we’re all familiar, are reserved for fringe candidates or those running in local elections.


Well, in this ad, Cruz decides to “fry” bacon in a video titled Making Machine-Gun Bacon with Ted Cruz. In the video, Cruz starts out by saying, “Of course in Texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks.”

Let me just start off by saying, as a Texan, I had literally never heard of this until I saw this video – and I know plenty of conservatives who love guns – but I now know that you can find plenty of foolish videos on Youtube where people have done this or something similar. So I think the correct way to phrase it would be, “When you’re a gun-loving buffoon, this is how you might ruin a perfectly good piece of bacon.” I really wish people like Cruz would stop making Texans look like morons. While there are plenty of really ignorant people in this state, we’re not all bumbling idiots.

You see, what he did was wrap a piece of bacon around the muzzle of an AR-15 to “fry” it using the heat generated by the gun. He then went on to eat a piece of that bacon.

Just one problem – Cruz wasn’t using a “machine gun,” he was using an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle. So even in a video clearly meant to draw attention to what a “gun loving Republican” he is for his campaign, he couldn’t accurately describe the gun he was using. Besides, isn’t it conservatives like Cruz who are always bitching and moaning whenever liberals refer to an AR-15 as a “machine gun”? And here he is doing the exact same thing. Funny how that works.

What he did is basically the equivalent of someone watching football and calling the quarterback a pitcher. Sure, both positions throw a ball on a sports team – but the positions themselves are still very different. Much in the same way semi-automatic is quite different than one that’s fully automatic, or a “machine gun.” You know, since conservatives are constantly getting on the liberal case about that, I figured I’d help Cruz out with it some. When you’re trying make a “pro-gun” video that’s blatantly designed to try to draw attention to your floundering presidential campaign, it’s fairly embarrassing when you can’t even accurately describe the type of gun you’re using.

Not only that, but it’s just an asinine video on its face. Anyone who’d watch this thing and go, “Wow, he really is the guy I want to be my president” really needs to have their head examined.


But I think what’s so sad about this video is that I know many conservatives who came across it were probably impressed. Because this is the kind of caveman, knuckle-dragging stupidity that feeds right into the hands of the far-right and gun fanatics.

Don’t take my word for it, enjoy the absurdity for yourself, via IJReview:




Allen Clifton

Allen Clifton is a native Texan who now lives in the Austin area. He has a degree in Political Science from Sam Houston State University. Allen is a co-founder of Forward Progressives and creator of the popular Right Off A Cliff column and Facebook page. Be sure to follow Allen on Twitter and Facebook, and subscribe to his channel on YouTube as well.

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  • Allahu Akbar!

    Trump 2016!

  • mary

    Wow! How impressive. Totally presidential material. Seriously? This proves what?