Why This Heterosexual is Fighting for Gay Rights

sanfrancastroThe Supreme Court will be making decisions on Proposition 8 and DOMA in the near future, and I’m hoping for the best. Most likely it will go back to the states to decide and I don’t see the Supreme Court doing anything that’ll send the Fox News crowd into another ammo purchasing frenzy. Last time it was an imagined threat against their guns, this time they’ll need 2 more modified AR-15’s and another 10,000 rounds of .223 ammo to protect them from being shipped to the Castro District and forced into an arranged marriage with one of the regulars at Twin Peaks Tavern.

All kidding and cracks at the opponents of equality aside, I want to see the Court do something monumental. Something that rivals other great moments in American history. Wouldn’t that be something you’d be proud to tell your kids and grandkids about? Wouldn’t it be a great feeling that after all of these years, my gay brother or your lesbian sister could have all of the same rights that we as heterosexuals often take for granted?

I’ve often been asked “Why do you care so much about equality?” I’m a white, straight male. If we were to believe the voices of the opposition, this wouldn’t be my fight. However, there’s more to it than just wanting to do the right thing–it’s also personal.

You see, even though I’m straight, I was bullied mercilessly as a teenager for being gay. When you’re geeky, skinny and not terribly athletic, you’ll take a lot of grief from those who are still unsure of their own sexuality. It wasn’t until I laid out the biggest kid on the bus who liked to repeatedly call me a “fag” that the harassment slowed down.

So, I have my own life experiences to back up my belief in equality. It’s those same experiences that caused my fellow Jews to march for the end of segregation–a shared history of suffering to one degree or another. It’s that, and I’ll admit it, I really want to see heads explode on Fox News. After all, it’d be both historic and perhaps a little cathartic.


Facebook comments

  • From one Southerner to another,

    Thank you for your support. I am white, female, southern, lesbian, liberal, Christian, and motivated. I vote. I help spread the word. Thank you for doing the same.

  • bleedingheartliberalscum

    I am a straight black male and I wholeheartedly support this cause. I believe peoples sexuality is no excuse to alienate them from a civilization they very much help build. It is my moral obligation to treat all people in the exact same manner I would like to be treated myself. There is nothing illegal about the gay lifestyle. The people who make a moral argument forget it is immoral to exclude people from what should be rightfully theirs. That is a simple equal opportunity to take full part in our society. We are who we are and that is just not a choice. I am not sure I would compare this civil rights movements completely to that of the african american. However, there are stark similarities. The key difference is gay individuals can choose to hide their sexuality and blacks can not hide their ethnicity.

    All I have ever asked gay people to do is treat me the same too. Our society does not want to accept gay people wholeheartedly. Just accept me as a straight black male wholeheartedly and I will accept you for who you are wholeheartedly.

  • BentleyBooks

    Is there any woman here besides me who supports gay rights and marriage equality partly so no other woman has to be as disintegrated as she herself was on learning that her lover was a gay man they loved had used her as a tool with which to build a house of lies to present to the world?

    I wouldn’t want that heartbreak for my daughter, and I wouldn’t want my son to have to make a choice like that and carry the knowledge of what he did to protect himself. Solution: raise my son (who it turns out is not gay) not to be so narrow-minded and mean to ANYBODY that they think they have to protect people’s opinion at any cost.

    • Didi

      Bentley… Thanks for teaching that lesson to your son. I think as time has passed; fewer men have felt compelled to live the “lie” you experienced. These days; moms and dads tell their kids: ” one day you’ll grow up amd meet a person you’ll fall in love with and want to build a life together.” As a 55 year old female; that was never something my parents even knew to say to me…because that conversation was as alien to them as travelling to Mars. Today, the generation that our kids dwell in is color blind and gender neutral…just the way it should be. As for your ex; it is possible he really didn’t know at the time. I can tell you I didn’t know when I got married…

  • Patty Boge-Perez

    I am for equal rights for everyone!

  • Jen

    I am a 100%, heterosexual woman, HAPPILY married to a wonderful man, and I completely, whole heartedly, support gay marriage. Marriage is for two people, no matter their sex, race, religion, etc. who love, honor, respect and CHERISH one another, who pledge their lives to be united, and partnered, with another human. Who gives a crap about the rest of it? Seriously? I know way more hetero couples who shouldn’t be married. They lie, cheat, hurt, and disrespect their spouses – they take the beautiful thing that is marriage, and make a mockery of it. Yet people who are true partners, true soul mates, can’t marry because they’re the same sex? BS America! Honestly, it’s just BS. To quote the Beatles – LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED

  • Jen

    I am a 100%, heterosexual woman, HAPPILY married to a wonderful man, and I completely, whole heartedly, support gay marriage. Marriage is for two people, no matter their sex, race, religion, etc. who love, honor, respect and CHERISH one another, who pledge their lives to be united, and partnered, with another human. Who gives a crap about the rest of it? Seriously? I know way more hetero couples who shouldn’t be married. They lie, cheat, hurt, and disrespect their spouses – they take the beautiful thing that is marriage, and make a mockery of it. Yet people who are true partners, true soul mates, can’t marry because they’re the same sex? BS America! Honestly, it’s just BS. To quote the Beatles – LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED

  • Henry

    I’m a straight, divorced man who wholeheartedly invites all gays and lesbians who want to, to take on and take over marriage. It can only be improved as we straights have made a mess of it.

  • Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve

    You are not a Christian so please don’t insult us that are by saying you are. Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. Sorry.

    • Jimmy

      how does the response “adam and eve” support your theory that certain people should have rights that others don’t ?

    • Henry

      What’s Christianity have to do with the law? The last time I checked, we have separation of church and state in this country.


      • Ash


    • Jen Bosanko

      Seriously? Going with the “Adam and Steve” argument? URGH! Oh boy, give me an hour, and I’ll find a dozen bible passages that pretty much sh*t all over everything our CURRENT society is OK with.
      Why do so many people CARE that a man can’t marry a man? Or a woman a woman:???!!!! The “church” and “state” of this country is totally F-cked up, and that has nothing to do with gay rights. I am STRAIT. And fully support gay marriage. If anything, I’d like some restrictions on strait marriage – ooooh, but that will never happen, how would the straits handle having RULES imposed as to whom they may marry?

    • Metamatic

      To “Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” …Adam and Steve?!? Seriously? Is that the BEST that you can come up with?!? LOL!!! 😀
      As a “Christian” show me where it says to discriminate and otherwise abuse others in YOUR bible.
      Post when you actually have an opinion of your own to share, and not some catchy slogan you’ve seen at YOUR church.

    • paribusceteris

      Yes, by all means let’s insist on Bible-based marriages! Here’s a guide to what you can expect:
      Btw, since you’re a Christian, is there any reason you’re here trolling instead of, oh, maybe helping out the poor, like Jesus actually said to do? …Yeah, I didn’t think so.

    • Stephanie

      You are a Christian you say? Christians, here on Earth, are HUMAN BEINGS who accept and follow GOD. Being a Christian does not make you God, therefore, it is not your place to judge. Regardless to what you believe and why you believe it, its is not your place to spread hatred and discrimination. God gave us all the ability to make our on decisions for a reason. He truly put a brain in your head in hopes that you would use it. Do you really think hating, discriminating and judging others for what you believe is unholy is going to get you a big shiny seat next to God? Close your man written, man edited book and use the brain God gave you to ask him yourself what he wants from you. If you can empty the garbage from your head, you’ll hear him.

    • Jay

      To quote Wanda Sykes, “the bible says Adam and eve, not Adam and Mary j blige.” This comedian alone invalidates your argument. Marriage definitions constantly change. pretty sure you wouldn’t sell your daughter for live stock. You may sit down now.

  • Jimmy

    Married straight man that supports gay marriage/marriage equality. I also support the right to bear arms, so you might try not to alienate a lot of supporters by telling us that we should sacrifice some of our freedoms for the benefit or others or believing that social liberalism equals liberalism on everything else.

  • Godislove

    Adam and Eve not etc… You are the reason people like me no longer call themselves “Christians”. You give real Christians a bad name.

    • Metamatic

      “Godislove”…you and me both!! I’d rather LIVE my life as a “Christian” (loving others as myself, etc.,) than blindly following “church doctrine” and repeating the churches’ proclamations like a trained seal.
      HELLO people!! Is it fair? Is it right? Shall we continue to discriminate against others purely on the basis of who they LOVE?!? Aren’t there more important things we should be worrying about right now?!?

  • Why

    Why can’t gays and lesbos just have some sort of law binding contract other than marriage. Marriage is between man and woman, you can’t just change the definition. But if they want the rights that come with marriage, we should just make a new thing for them.

    • Why can’t we “just change” the definition of marriage? It’s been done before. Traditional Middle Eastern culture, you know the culture that Jesus was born into, supported (and in many cases still supports) polygamous marriages, and yet, Christianity changed that definition of marriage. Until Henry VIII wanted a divorce, you had to wait to die yourself or for your spouse to die, he changed that and started the roots of modern Anglicanism (a whole new church). There were anti-miscenigation (spelling may be wrong here) laws on the books in some states as recently as twelve years ago, but we changed that. In fact, the Supreme Court changed that. Polygamy was once legal in UTAH for heaven’s sake.

      Marriage definitions shift culturally. This is another cultural shift. Welcome to the ride 🙂

      • Ash

        thank you/. people who are not for equal rights usually use unreasonable selfish explanations as to why they think its wrong but the underlying fact is that they just dont like it for w.e reason… but since they know that is rediculous, anti equality people will struggle to provide a valid reason as to why homosexuals should be denied marriage… and alas, their arguements always fall short because they are just irrational.

    • JustMe

      Because ‘Equal but Separate’ is not really equal at all.

    • TIE

      This is not a gay and lesbian issue. This is not a biblical issue. This IS a constitutional issue. I find it interesting that many opposed to marriage equality, are the first time cry “CIVIL RIGHTS” when we are discussing guns. Whether you hate gays, love gays, whatever your ideology, as long as you value YOUR rights you should promote the rights of others. Cause this week its a gay couple’s right to marry. next week it could be YOUR religious freedom. Take off your hat of ignorance for just one moment and think like a rational human being.

      • Sara

        What about the rights of children? Don’t all children deserve a mother and father? Leaving gender out of marriage is saying that a child growning up without their mother or father won’t effect them and that multiple child rearing arrangements are all equal. This is a lie. Growing up never knowing your mother or father has marked many people I know. Sure, they can succeed on the surface, but inside they have a hole. For decades we’ve been saying that the sexual desires of adults are more important than the needs of the next generation and look where it has gotten us: children dying of AIDS, millions of children aborted, a generation growing up in broken homes and never knowing a father. You can argue that gay marriage is the wrong place to draw the line, but it needs to be drawn. I wish it had been drawn years ago before my generation became broken by divorce, but we can’t go back. We can only go forward.

      • Ronda

        Children deserve to be loved. The sex of their parents had nothing to do with it. I had a male father and female mother and they were both awful parents – and that was back in “the good old days” – 1950’s. You are correct that we can only go forward, and encouraging loving, strong, devoted families of all varieties is the answer, not trying to return to some utopia that never existed in the first place … at least not for many of us.

      • Just Want Everyone to be Equal

        Actually, you’re wrong. Studies have shown that children raised by two gay parents are minimally different than those raised by heterosexual parents, if they’re different at all. Most gay couples will have one member that takes the role of a father and the other that takes the role of the mother. In fact, children raised by gay couples are likely to be more open-minded about issues like this than children raised by heterosexual parents. And how could you possibly know they grow up “with a hole”? Were you raised by gay parents? I doubt it, considering how ignorant you’re being. There’s a large difference between a parent not being there and having two parents of the same gender. The problems with the previous two generations come from how hands-on the parents were while they were being raised. It’s how the kids are taught to act that determines how they act as adults. Saying that gay marriage will be the straw the breaks the camel’s back is rediculous. Your personal wishes aside, every deserves fair and equal rights. You’re right, we can only go forward – we can forget anything a written book that’s hundreds of years old tells us, we can forget the inherited dislike that’s been around for generations with no rational cause but fear, and we can give people the rights they deserve. This issue shouldn’t have taken as long as it has to be cleared. Time and again, every argument I hear against gay marriage is based on a definition given by a book that has far outdated concepts, this one being one of them. I don’t care what your religion tells you, you do not have the right to determine how another person lives their life. You are not God, you did not give birth to them, and they really are not connected to you in any way, shape, or form. How is giving people equal rights going to effect you? The world is not going to end just because we made it legal for gays to marry. Trust me, it will go on and it will be a much better place.

    • pamm777

      To Why: Oh, you mean like “separate but equal.” I think that’s been done before and it didn’t turn out too well.

  • mom of gay son

    Why cant gays get married? I am a mother of a gay son and I have told him he could have or do anything, and one day he is going to fall in love with a man, and they are going to want to get married. and I will be there standing proud of my son. so you people who are just stuck in your ways you really are the problem. we as people have to make the change damn it there are things in this world that we need to take care of. what people do in their lives is there rights . MARRIAGE IS FOR 2 PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER , WEATHER IT BE MAN AND WOMEN OR MAN AND MAN , GROW THE HELL UP ALREADY AND LET IT GO ALREADY.

  • Me

    Well let’s not stop with gays. People who are in love with young children, in love with animals, and in love with multiples should be allowed to get married too.

    • Didi

      Me…”love” with young children is child abuse…and animals can’t consent. Your comment is ridiculous

    • JustMe

      That argument is silly because, of course animals are incapable of consent. By the same logic, children, being emotionally and mentally undeveloped are incapable of consent as well.

    • Sarah

      What an idiotic thing to say. All you have is the “slippery slope” argument? Pathetic

    • melanie

      Are you serious? That argument is so ridiculous! Gay people who get married are consenting adults, not children and not animals. Not so long ago in our country it was illegal for interracial couples to legally be married and as people realized that denying people of different races the right to marry was unconstitutional the laws changed accordingly. The same should be true for gay people. I cannot understand where our government has any right to dictate who can and cannot get married. If a church chooses not to perform a marriage ceremony in their church that is their right, however, religious ideology should not dictate what our government decides, states and the federal government should not be using religious ideology to dictate marriage laws. Gay couples should have every right and protection under the constitution that all couples have and yes I agree with those above me, especially as an educator of those with special needs, separate but equal is inherently unequal as was found in Brown v board of ed. Equal rights for all!

  • Lana Kane


  • David

    Beth, marriage has always been between man and woman (women). Two different genders not the same gender. Words mean things and if we keep changing the definitions to mean whatever we want the to mean, the levels of miscommunication will become even worse than it is now. Let’s come up with a different term that will be inclusive of gay marriage without having to change meanings…how about “joining” or “partnering”? Either of those would work without having to change definitions.

    • Mommo

      Language evolves all the time to reflect new meaning. The word gay is itself a great example. The point here is that gays and lesbians deserve to be treated exactly the same as their heterosexual counterparts. The insistence on using a different term for what is exactly the same union between two consenting adults who have formed a family bond together means that they will always be seen as different, though they are not. Different terminology makes discrimination that much easier too. Why should you care whether you can determine the gender of someone’s spouse when you hear they are married? There’s no non-discriminatory reason for demanding that clarity.

    • Dani

      Marriage is a conscious union of things in harmony. The marriage of poetry and music, for example. Marriage does not belong to christianity, it existed before Jesus Christ was born to this earth. Your definition of marriage as between one man and one woman is your definition, but it is not the only one. If you really want to look at it biblically, Abraham, Jacob, Esau, and David each had more than one wife. We have redefined marriage in our society to exclude this type of relationship. Also, never in the Bible does it state that marriage is exclusive to heterosexual couple. Yes, the only marriages in the Bible are heterosexual, but there are many things not specifically mentioned in the Bible that we accept into our daily lives.

      Marriage, in modern America, is not only a religious institution, but a governmental one. For example, despite the fact that we are both christians, my husband and I chose to be married in a civil ceremony. There was no church involved, yet we are still MARRIED. There are legal benefits bestowed on couples who choose to marry, and denying those benefits to any consenting adult is unconstitutional. Just as celebrities who marry and divorce quickly, and television shows like the Bachelor, and marriages like my own do NOTHING to change the definition of marriage, so it is that marriage between consenting, adult, same sex partners will do NOTHING to change the definition of anyone else’s marriage.

  • Stacey

    I’m confused at how people think gay/lesbian marriage diminishes their own marriage. It does not…and if it does your marriage was not strong to begin with. As we can see by the past election we change meanings and definitions all the time. Those that claim they oppose based on definitions and those who oppose based on arguments that can be defeated based on the idea of lack of consent are filled with hatred and a need to be superior. Civil rights and suffrage came from disenfranchised groups of people, gay rights will too. I support without hesitation because it is morally right to treat others with equality. I support because a homosexual marriage does not diminish my own marriage. Love always strengthens a community while hate and segregation tear communities down.

    • muddymom

      I am the mother of a lesbian and the sister of a gay man. I love them both dearly but it is not right to be married under god. they should marry under state. The day of Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah have been forgotten we all have rules to live by in state and faith so if we keep turning our backs on the truth of the covenant of marriage between a man and a women that is what it is defined as the bible says Genesis 2:24 – Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. that is the beginning. God loves all of us but we disappoint him and we quit trusting him you can pray and believe all day but you have to obey him too and keep his commandments is this your way of saying well if we get married it is not a sin because it still is a sin and not in gods plans for us. the bible says 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” It is not just wrong it is a slap in Gods face telling him He had no idea what he was doing this is a short stay on earth to pay the ultimate price of no eternity this comment is for educating not judgment I say be in love but do not say that god made a mistake in writing the rules just because some people don’t like them.

      • Mommo

        If your church doesn’t want to perform marriage ceremonies for gays and lesbians, nobody is looking to force them to do so. This is entirely a secular matter involving the state and federal governments, not churches. No church ceremony is necessary for any marriage – gay or straight- to be legal and valid; people get married by a justice of the peace all the time. Continue to believe whatever fantastical nonsense makes you happy; marriage equality does not impinge on that right.

      • Dani

        Sodom and Gomorrah was not punishment for consenting homosexual relations, it was punishment for rape and inhospitality.

  • Stacey

    I’m confused at how people think gay/lesbian marriage diminishes their own marriage. It does not…and if it does your marriage was not strong to begin with. As we can see by the past election we change meanings and definitions all the time. Those that claim they oppose based on definitions and those who oppose based on arguments that can be defeated based on the idea of lack of consent are filled with hatred and a need to be superior. Civil rights and suffrage came from disenfranchised groups of people, gay rights will too. I support without hesitation because it is morally right to treat others with equality. I support because a homosexual marriage does not diminish my own marriage. Love always strengthens a community while hate and segregation tear communities down.

  • Hitch22
  • Sinned

    This is not a black and white issue. There are other things we need to think about. Yes, marriage is about two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Once you make this legal, we get the insurance companies, educational institutions, social security, and all the benefits that go along with being a “dependent”. Pretty soon you’ll start having a “Chuck and Larry” situation, two folks that try to cheat the system. Not saying there are not men and women that don’t do this but if you open it up to men & men and women & women you just tripled the amount of folks that might try to “cheating the system”.

    • “Once you make this legal, we get the insurance companies, educational institutions, social security, and all the benefits that go along with being a “dependent”. ”
      Exactly. That is why gays and lesbians demand marriage equality. It’s not just a label, it’a amatter of equal rights under the law. Glad you finally got it.
      In fact, there are over 1000 laws that marriage affects. In the DOMA case, one widow had to pay over $300,000 in inheritance taxes that she would not have had to pay if the federal government recognized her marriage. Just one of many reasons why this is a 14th amendment “equal protection unders the law” issue.

    • pamm777

      Then don’t let anyone get married and then NO ONE can cheat the system.

    • Just Want Everyone to be Equal

      The way you’re saying it (and don’t deny it: “Pretty soon you’ll start having a “Chuck and Larry” situation, two folks that try to cheat the system”) every gay that gets married is going to try and “cheat the system”? That’s like saying everybody that comes from Mexico to the U.S. is an illegal immigrant. Yes, I acknoweldge that there are people out there who take advantage of our tax system, our welfare, and other governmental benefits. But you CANNOT deny an entire class of citizens rights equal to others based on your fear of a small percentage of people that MAY “cheat the system”. People are people. They are raised to either live their lives honestly, or live them riding the backs of others. Being gay, transgender, or bisexual has absolutely effect on this issue at all. We as people have NO right to declare another person a second class citizen. We have no idea how they live or the difficulties they face. You’re correct – this is not just a black and white issue, there are shades of gray. But there is a right and a wrong. It is wrong to deny another human the right to live their life as they see fit. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness” This has been on the Constitution for 236 years. We cannot cherry pick the people this applies to. I cannot say this applies to me because I am a white female heterosexual, but does not apply to the gay man standing next to me. People have these rights under the Constitution, and nobody – not the Church, not the state, and certainly not the government – can take them away or impede upon them. Despite what everyone thinks and feels, gays WILL gain the same rights as everyone else. This isn’t any different than when the Blacks were struggling for equal rights after the Civil War. It’s just like the 60’s – they’re gaining rights that they didn’t have before and everyone is scared that it’s going to completely change how our country is run. It didn’t happen then and it won’t happen now. There is no basis upon which we can rightfully stand to deny gays their rights.

  • tommy

    I am not married through the church. I have been judged and condemned, by other “Christians”, saying that I am living in sin, because I am not married in the eyes of God. Why is it, that my life is up to others to judge? Isn’t it, in the christian faith, up to only God to judge? I will answer to him, when my time comes, not others. What is the difference, when you judge the homosexual community? As a Christian, I expect you to voice your opinion about whether you agree or not. You shouldn’t expect to deserve the right to judge. Unless, you are completely without sin. But, I don’t think you are. Getting married, through the state, should be possible for all people. We all deserve to have the same equality.

  • Bette Brown

    I do not understand why the gay community does not allow people to have a difference of opinion without vilifying them. Gays, want to live an alternate lifestyle and call it the same as something it is not. I believe everyone should have equal rights and most laws now give gay partners the same legal rights as married partners. Marriage for centuries has been a union of one man and one woman, that has not changed. It is the natural state of affairs. It is how we manage to keep our species alive. If everyone practiced the gay lifestyle, we would cease to exist! Why must we refer to a union of two people of the same sex, the same way we refer to a union of two people of different sexes? It is not the same. You chose to live a different lifestyle…….own it! Chose a different name for your unions.
    We don’t hate you, we want you to have equal rights, just pick a new title for gay unions.

    • Stuart

      Bette – my only question is why do they have to pick another name for gay unions other than marriage? When they go to get a drivers license it is not called a driving card for some people. A marriage license is obtained from the Government, they Government should not be (a) discriminatory (b) including religious beliefs in their decision making process.

      I can only assume you have an issue with the marriage terminology because of your religious beliefs. If that is the case then those comments are not relevant to this discussion.

    • Alex

      I think its important to take into account that marriage does not keep our species alive. Sex does and people do it all the time without being married and produce children that grow up with one parent, are given up for adoption or become wards of the state. Not to discredit the fact that many married people reproduce as well. I just think that’s not a strong argument for the survival of our species. I also think its important to consider the fact that many married couples chose not to have children. Our species is managing just fine without marriage.

      • Aleatha

        i totally agree Alex i am a straight divorced woman who chooses NEVER to remarry or have children. i don’t feel like this makes me a bad person it is just my personal choice and you’re absolutely correct i still have a perfectly happy sex life.

    • alisha

      Also, same sex couples have children all the time. So you really cant say that only a man and woman can have children. If they want to call it a marriage then let them, I promise its not going to change the way you feel about your spouse. And if it does, then you have deeper issues aside from two people of the same sex getting married and calling it just that, a marriage.

    • Jay Turberville

      Marriage is not how we keep our species alive. Where’d you get that from? Government sanctioned marriage is actually a fairly modern thing. Marriage is about the legal recognition of family units and the rights, privileges and responsibilities that derive from these relationships.

    • Gabby

      You hit the nail on the head! Thank you for saying it! As much as gay’s want their opinion, those who think it’s wrong are also entitled to theirs!

      • Jay Turberville

        Nope. The head of the nail was missed. The simple fact is that gay couples don’t have equal rights. Do a little research and you’ll see that there are very real problems that the current legal situation creates for gay couples that aren’t fixable with current legal instruments. While I’m not a big advocate of vilification, keep in mind that if someone is advocating that your rights be infringed, it shouldn’t be surprising that this person will seem like a villain and hence might be referred to in those terms. If I advocated unequal rights based on race, I shouldn’t be too surprised if my advocacy is vilified. If you want to deny people equal protection under the law, don’t be surprised if you are seen as a villain. This is a very real issue for many people and it is all too easy to dismiss it as merely a differing of opinions if you aren’t the one suffering the consequences of the current laws.

      • Jay Turberville

        Here is a link to a summary of some of the financial inequality created by the current marriage laws. Gays pay the same tax rates, but they don’t get the same benefits. This seems like a blatant lack of equal protection/ and equal treatment. The financial impact could be huge. Of course, I’m of the opinion that the government shouldn’t be this involved in our personal finances. But since they are, it only seems reasonable that gay couples be treated equitably.

      • David

        Well said Jay. I’m a straight, white male, but I’m in favor of equal rights for everyone. The government has no business defining marriage (which is a religious institution and therefore untouchable by the government) but since there is a financial aspect involved, they are effectively taxing gay people more and that alone is unconstitutional.

      • Joe Wear

        Marriage is a government function, as in marriage licensing by the government. Holy Matrimony is what churches do, one can be married by a judge and it’s a legal marriage but it’s not Holy Matrimony, there is a difference.

    • Ed H

      Dear Bette,
      The US Constitution says “all men are created equal.” Not women, men. Yet, over time, as society change, women went from being vilified and treated as second class citizens to being allowed to vote, hold jobs and even…have children out of wedlock! Once upon a time marriage between people of different races was considered a threat to all we hold dear until society changed and the Supreme Court decided in Loving v Virginia that if two people opposite races wanted to wed there was no reason why they should not be allowed to do so.
      Arguments about marriage as we define it today being the natural form of the act is simply inaccurate. In the bible, Moses et al had a bunch of wives. Moses don’t play that anymore (except in very small pockets of Utah perhaps, but it’s not legal there either). Marriage has nothing to do with procreation. It does, however, have everything thing to do with money.
      Yep, money.
      The status of marriage bequeaths unto the wedded couple, along with a blender from Uncle Charlie, and half a set of dishes from cousin Rita, tax write offs, the ability to collect social security benefits, the ability to transfer money tax free through wills and the ability to visit one’s loved ones in the hospital. Denying a group of people this opportunity solely because of their race, religion or sexual preference is wrong, unjust and practically the dictionary definition of discrimination. All gay and lesbian people are asking for is to have the very same rights that you and I have.
      Yep, that’s right. I’m a straight, white male who has absolutely no dog in this fight other than my fundamental belief that what makes this country the best place to live in the world is that everyone — at least in theory — has the opportunity — no, the right — to be treated equal in the eyes of their government and their fellow citizen.
      One last note: Gay people are not trying to demonize anyone. They aren’t the ones carrying signs saying God hates people or that those who disagree with them are going to Hell. Gay people are saying, “Hey, we want to play on the same field as everyone else.”
      Is there really anything wrong with that?

      • Jay Turberville

        Now that’s hitting the nail on the head. BTW, I too am a straight, white guy. But so what? Fair is fair. Right? Or maybe the state should nullify my marriage because we never had children. But if they do, I want all that money back that I paid in taxes for other people’s kids to go to public schools. ;^)

      • Aleatha

        BRAVO well said and accurate 🙂

    • Eric

      The “natural state of affairs” Really. You actually can say that with a straight face? There was a time where slavery was espoused as being simply the by anyone these day trying to “natural state of affairs.” Come on. Last time I checked this was the 21st Century. From: A heterosexual male who finds it mindboggling that so much time and energy is still being spent by some trying desperately to “justify” pure discrimination.

    • ScottyBob

      The ignorance shown here by Bette Brown is the quintessential example of why homosexuals have been discriminated against forever. The same ignorance that kept blacks from drinking from water fountains used by whites. The same ignorance that assumes their love is somehow better and more sanctimonious than theirs. The same ignorance that needs to end. NOW!

      • ScottyBob

        Correction… “The same ignorance that assumes their love is somehow better and more sanctimonious than the love others.”

      • ScottyBob

        Damn… LOL

        “The same ignorance that assumes their love is somehow better and more sanctimonious than the love of others.”

  • Roland

    Why don’t we just roll back government intrusion in our private lives? Why do we have to go to the government for a license to marry? Doesn’t “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” pretty much cover coupling, marriage, unions etc? Why have we become a society so bent on empowering an ever growing government that does nothing but create more laws to justify it’s own existence? I think we need to take a big step back and take a look at what we’ve become. We seem somehow incapable of taking responsibility for our own lives without intrusion from Big Brother. I’m straight, I’m happily married and have kids that are teenagers but nonetheless reasonably sane. I would want the type of happiness we have for anyone. But, I have to say this, I don’t flaunt my lifestyle and make demands on our legal system at taxpayer expense because I really don’t care what makes you happy in the privacy of your own home. Let’s all take back our dignity and take this out of government hands… they haven’t even figured out how to deliver the mail effectively. Do we want them to legislate our personal relationships? Remember, we rule the gov’t, the gov’t doesn’t rule us.

    • Jay Turberville

      Yes. Getting governments out of the marriage business altogether is the superior solution IMO. But given that this isn’t happening, broadening the definition of legal marriage is the next best solution.

      • Roland

        It’s just a shame that we can seem to find a way to pursue any measures that would get the gov’t out of our homes where they don’t belong. The course we are on seems to be the most divisive path available and we need unity in our country now more than ever.

    • Carrie

      You don’t flaunt your lifestyle, yet you declare yourself a straight, married parent over the internet. You don’t make demands at taxpayer expense, but do you take take tax deductions based on your family? Gays don’t get those options. Yet they are expected to pay the very same taxes you accuse them of wasting. Our whole lives are not spent in the privacy of our own homes. When anyone steps out from behind closed they are entitled to that same dignity you seem to speak so highly of. Too bad you don’t seem to know what it truly means

      • Roland

        I get what you’re saying Carrie…really. You seem to want to go on the offensive with me when it truly isn’t necessary. My only intent in my declaration was transparency of perspective. With regard to taxes, I believe we all should pay the same rate with no deductions. I am in favor of a flat tax that I believe would be true equality. I don’t believe that there should be tax implications as to whether I file jointly or separately. I believe we should all file separately just as we vote. But that is another topic. I just don’t think the gov’t should be involved in personal relationships and should get out of the business of wasting money on legislating what is and what is not a relationship. Isn’t that for us to decide?

  • Tracy

    NO where in the Constitution Of The United States Of America does it mention…marriage!
    The LGBT community just wants the same rights that OUR Constitution entitles every citizen to have be it getting married or not.
    If a hetrosexual couples were told tomorrow its illegal to get married to the person you love, well Im sure they would fight for that RIGHT.
    The government needs to be addressed as it did 50′ and 60’s. It is not about what makes us happy in our own homes, its about the right and happiness to be able to go to the court house or anywhere else, like any other couple and have a legal marriage. The same benefits as hetrosexual couples have, for example to be in the room with our partner if they are in the hospital, get updates on how they are doing etc. I dont flaunt my lifestyle, I am happy with my life and who I love. Our government needs to get into the times…2013 and make changes to be able to adapt to America today, not America 1776! ” All men are created equally….” Correct???

  • Nancy S

    Since when did we need to be married to procreate? I don’t see the word marriage in the definition of sex which is how we multiply..that comment has religious undertones of which you are allowed to have..it’s your right..as should anyone who is in love should have the right to be married..guy to guy, woman to woman, guy to woman…I am a straight woman married to my husband for 20 years…why shouldn’t my gay friends be afforded that same right?? Because it offends some people that interpret some words in the bible as its morally wrong? Sorry, wrong…if your against gay marriage don’t go to one..people used to say interracial or opposing religions shouldn’t be legal either..thank goodness that has changed..

    • Aleatha


  • helen

    Everyone has biases, one of mine is that I think it quite irresponsible and immoral to have a child out of wedlock intentionally, as many straight couples do these days, without a care or a thought. Religious bias? More a case of upbringing. I know of more gay couples who are responsible when it comes to child rearing than I do of heterosexual couples. Marriage is a right in this country to straight people just because they are straight. Ive never heard anything quite so ridiculous, when I see the amount of abuse and immoral behavior that goes on, that could effectively dispute the joining of two people at the alter. Why oh why do so many people have a problem with gay people getting married. The only answer I can come up with is that they are homophobic, but make other reasons and excuses because they know deep down inside that their fear is irrational. I met a man who was arrogant, middle class, narrow minded and discovered his teenage boy was gay. Was that ever a humbling experience for him. Live and learn.

    • Judy

      Helen, I’m trying to wrap my head around your bias that it is immoral and irresponsible for people to choose to have a child out of wedlock intentionally. The idea that you believe that people do so “without a care or a thought” is quite insulting. My partner and I decided with great care and thought to have children and we are not legally married. Our concerns and months of discussion around having children revolved around love, finances, family support, division of duties, long term goals, education, health… It occurs to me that rather than being “more a case of upbringing” it is a case of opinion that is yours and perhaps you should keep it to yourself.

  • Meagan

    Questions for religious gay bashers: Why are some biblical verses taken literally, while others (like those condoning polygamy or the beating/owning of slaves) are dismissed as old school mentalities, not worth defending in modern society?

    Homosexuality is based on two lovers’ genders, correct? How do you define gender? Does G-d assign gender & therefore sexual orientation as well? How do you address the fact that some individuals are born biologically intersex? (Think hermaphrodite, but human beings who show variation in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, and/or genitals that do not allow the individuals to be distinctly identified as male or female). Do you consider these individuals abominations, damned no matter which gender they “choose” to love? The point is, maybe G-d’s plans & preferences aren’t so black & white & easily understood.

    So, stop throwing stones & just focus on the big stuff, like loving your neighbor as yourself (your queer neighbors included).

    • Melanie

      Megan I couldn’t agree with you more. I love God and the Bible but there was a time in our country when southern preachers argued for slavery because it was God’s will! Thankfully we progressed from there and I see the the gay marriage issue similar to what women, minorities and others have had to struggle with, equal rights. Yes, Jesus taught us to love our neighbors, it is that simple!!!

      • Babbalou

        Progressives are amusing. Idealogical militants, consistentluy giving credibility to their own intolerance. Social Justice does not mean true justice. Tolerance does not mean true tolerance. Equal rights does NOT mean equality. Progressivism, the ultimate intellectual irony.

        Saw a car last night with a bumper sticker with big white letters….PRIVILEGE? The chastising of those who were born with white skin via a bumper sticker. The tolerant progressive. Amusing if it were not so sickening.

  • Gloria

    I believe everyone should be able to love and marry who they Want!

    • SyntheticPhylum

      Well, I’d draw the line at incest, but other than that, you’re exactly right!

      • Suzanne Lehman

        What rational reason would you have for drawing the line at incest? Why would a brother and sister not be allowed to love and marry each other? How is that different from the “equal rights” demanded by homosexual partners?

      • Ellen

        Unless the incestuous couple were in agreement never to pro-create, then to each their own. However, if they were to have children, there would potentially be some very serious threats to that child’s health. I think that is partly the reason why people are against it. That, and the fact that they don’t understand it. I’m not saying I do either, but because I don’t understand it, I can’t scrutinize it. I just think that because of the whole genetics thing, people have a big thing against incest. You’re right, though. People can’t pick and choose what they want equal rights for. Equal rights for everyone!

  • Hazel

    Jon, I agree with equal rights for all groups but I don’t want any heads at Fox News exploding. Face it, bias is bias wherever you find it so why is your bias against Fox News ok? Sounds like you are advocating bias & violence for majorities. How do you justify that?

  • JohnB

    Here is an argument for the defense of marriage in five sentences, and why the current political wrangling over “right to same-sex marriage” is utter nonsense.
    1. The repoductive system is the only bodily system that requires another person to make it complete.
    2. Only the union of 2 physically complementary persons can complete the system.
    3. Because this union can produce children, civilization has an interest to protect it through law.
    4. Without the complementary differences between women and men, the concept of marriage would not even exist.
    5. Therefore, the definition of marriage is necessarily limited to the union of a woman and a man.

    • Jay Turberville

      1. The repoductive system is the only bodily system that requires another person to make it complete.

      An odd way of saying that human reproduction requires male and female components. But OK.

      2. Only the union of 2 physically complementary persons can complete the system.

      Simply not true. Ever hear of artificial insemination?

      3. Because this union can produce children, civilization has an interest to protect it through law.

      Umm … quite the non sequitur there. First, sexual intercourse between a man and a woman (which is what you’ve described so far – not marriage) requires no protection. It happens all over the place all the time. In fact, huge efforts are put forth every year to either reduce the activity (teen abstinence campaigns) or to directly interfere (contraception) with the common result – which is children. The human reproductive system is quite robust and require no protection. Sex is not unique to humans and the rest of the sex-based animal kingdom is generally doing quite well without government endorsed marriages.

      4. Without the complementary differences between women and men, the concept of marriage would not even exist.

      Wall, that’s hard to say since we have no direct point of comparison. But if we imagine for a moment that only one person was required to have a child. Is it possible that people would still want to voluntarily join with others in the raising of these children? I don’t see why not. As it is, people marry, separate and create new unions (and remarry) all the time right now for the purpose of sharing the burden of raising children. Further, some of us get married with no intention at all of having children. It actually seems likely to me that without sex based procreation that many of us would still form relationships like marriage.

      5. Therefore, the definition of marriage is necessarily limited to the union of a woman and a man.

      Nope. Non sequitur number two. You didn’t support your conclusion with your premises at all. People have children without marriage. People have marriages without children. Some people raise children as single parents. Some people abandon their children. Others adopt the abandoned children. Some have children without even knowing (or caring) who the biological mother or father is. The situation(s) are actually much more complicated than what you’ve put forth and the specific laws that favor marriage frequently have no direct bearing on the issue of children or procreation anyway. So the notion that marriage today is about protecting the ability to create children is really nonsense. But to the extent that marriage laws do pertain to the raising of children, and given that gay couples have and raise children of their own, the “it’s about the children” argument” would seem to argue in favor of gay marriage. Wouldn’t you want the children of gay parents to have the same benefits under the law as the children of straight parents? If a gay parent dies, wouldn’t you want the surviving parent to be able to roll over the deceased parent’s IRA into their own with without having to pay extra taxes. Isn’t it generally in the interest of the child that what is left of the family not be unduly financially harmed excess taxes?

      The simple fact is that marriage is not the simple thing that so many people make it out to be. The legal ramifications are actually fairly complex. But the moral justification is simple. That is why, like so many other prejudical views that have toppled over the years, the notion that marriage is exclusive to straight couples will eventually topple as well. The only question in my mind is whether the current Supreme Court has the will and guts to admit this and ensure that the change happens sooner than later.

      • Jay Turberville

        I would like to add that if you do a little digging biology and parental obligations are not as clear-cut as many might think. Also, there are many families out there where one or more children are (often unbeknownst to the “father”) are not the offspring of the “father.” The current estimate is that 3 out of ever 10 children were actually fathered by a man other than the claimed biological father. Women, it seems, are somewhat promiscuous too. It is not uncommon that women seek one kind of man as a sex partner and another as the stable, loving and caring person to raise their kids. This is a worldwide thing. Not just something in the U.S. Inexpensive DNA testing is making this something easier to demonstrate.

        So besides all the issues with divorce, single parenting and artificial insemination – it seems like it is fairly common that even the basic Mom, Dad, Child family unit that we consider as a model is often not what it appears to be.

        Real human behavior is more complex than what so many “straight marriage only” proponents would have us believe. The simple fact is that real life is “messy.” Best to come to terms with that fact. And it is best that our laws reflect the reality, not some fantasy.

      • Alex

        Also, if gay people start marrying, it’s not like the number of heterosexual marriages will decrease. I doubt that gay people are just like, “well, we can’t marry each other, so lets go marry someone we’re allowed to and have children with them.”

    • Daniel

      Wow wait a minute!
      Don’t get too stuck in the traditional way of thinking.
      Love doesn’t have boundaries, nor limitations from within. Limitations are imposed by.
      Marriage isn’t a mechanic thing to let us (whoever us is) be a product of human production. Marriage is a result of a process, of love, feelings and other emotions, commitments, determination, compassion, it’s simply beautiful if one chooses to marry.
      Marriage is a choice of 2 individuals to commit to each other for the rest of their lives. From love. Not from law. Laws are restrictions, some of them irrational, unnecessary, against the poor, to suppress and taking people down. They create/maintain stigmas and other side effects that are no longer of this world.

      Civilization has to be maintained and to be in an agreement including the minorities. Not excluding them. And if people don’t like gay-marriage –> fine! Then don’t marry gays! (or lesbians for that matter)

      • smoky

        Well said Danielle. If all you said was individuals (not men not women not gay not straight) that would be enough. Equal rights as “married individuals” same as any common law or married couple already can… This fight would already have far more teeth….

      • Daniel

        Maybe my nationality helps me forming this opinion I have 🙂
        We are fffaaaaarrrr beyond this question in The Netherlands 😉
        Thumbs up for everyone all over where any kind of minority is fighting for recognition and equality. In the end we are all humans 🙂

    • lindylou

      The old biblical declaration to go forth and multiply came from a time when a large birthrate was necessary in order to maintain a viable society with sufficient numbers to create an healthy economy and also for armies to protect it. Because of the large number of infant deaths, it was incumbent for men to father as many children as possible on as many women as he could afford. Thus plural marriages and concubines were accepted. Moving ahead into the middle ages, “marriages” were contracted for the sole purpose of uniting properties, and in some cases, countries, and were not based on the notion of “love”. Even today, in some countries, the marriages are arranged and sometimes the bride doesn’t meet her husband until the day of the wedding. We have evolved, and today marriage is not only a legal contract, it is an emotional one, and neither nation building nor having built in farmhands are considered important.

      • Cat Lehman

        Marriage is not a contract. It is a sacrament. It is a covenant. Civil unions and domestic partnerships are contracts.

    • Billy Ross

      Well, that about covers everything (and more) that I was going to say on the subject. I’m not gay, but we’ve had gay marriage in the UK as law since 2005. Why doesn’t the US look at countries like mine (and Daniel’s), and see how ridiculous its behaving? I don’t hear anyone complaining about slavery being abolished as an amendment to the Constitution. It always seems to boil down to some ridiculous religious doctrine at the end of the day, (of course slavery was also a big part of the same doctrine, but nobody’s bitchin’ about that anymore). The world moves on and at some point the 4% of the world’s population that is America is gonna have to catch up sooner or later. Oh, and JohnB? I think you just got your arse well-and-truly chewed.

  • Emily

    Sooo… that means if a woman has had a hysterectomy, and a man has had a vasectomy, they shouldn’t marry because they don’t have the required parts. Pffffttt!!! I don’t understand why there are so many people against homosexuals being happy. Anyone who believes that THEIR way of living is the ONLY way, and that they are the ONLY ones who deserve to be happy… are selfish. Plain and simple. There are SO MANY homosexuals in this world, that it leads me to believe that God put them here. And as far as I know… God doesn’t make mistakes.

    • Jean H

      No God does not make mistakes but humans do! Some day they will stand before God and try to explain them.

  • Jill

    Steven Colbert wanted Ryan Gosling as his gay marriage partner…….they could have legally been married years ago in Ryan’s home town of Guelph Ontario Canada!

  • nick

    Im sorry but does anyone else find it disgusting that the reason this guy keeps producing is to Piss another belief group off? Grow the Fuck up support something because your believe its right not because you enjoy making others mad America sickens me

  • Jacky Q

    I think it’s GrEAt that you’re doing this. Thank You!

  • Sandy Eyl

    Actually, though I lived through a fair measure of teasing growing up, that has nothing to do with my concerns about Equality. From a young age I have had gay, bi, transsexual and questioning friends. I had friends who were raised by gay parents. None of them bite you, they don’t infect you, and it seems utterly unfair that the government interfere with their families and continue to treat them as an undercast, with unfair taxation and unequal parental/spousal rights. A marriage recognized by a state can be officiated by a judge, justice of the peace, notary, etc in many cases and it has nothing to do with religion anymore. It confers rights under the law. And all this BS about procreation being in society best interest. So is adoption.

    • Cat Lehman

      Totally agree that gay, bi, transsexual and questioning persons have every right to form permanent bonds which are recognized by the government in order to receive equal treatment with regards to taxation, parental/spousal rights, and citizenship rights. Those are things that naturally belong in the realm of government control/oversight.

      I disagree, however, that government should be marrying people. Marriage was, long before it resulted in taxation benefits, a sacrament whereby a man and a woman entered into a covenantal relationship with each other and their God. Even where it is acceptable to have more than one wife, it is this way because of religion, not government, although it may have been subsequently codified by legislative actions within the government.

      I absolutely agree that any adult persons should be able to enter into a contractually binding relationship with vows given and received before a government official – including those already religiously married – if they wish to benefit from the government’s laws on parental rights, taxation, and citizenship. That is not, however, marriage in it’s original meaning. To use the same name for both actions is to allow a mixing of church and state and to confuse the two in the minds of the citizenry. While the tradition exists in this country that the government performs “marriages”, I believe church and state need to be formally separated where marriage and domestic partnerships are concerned.

      With regards to sexual complementarity, if we remove the ability to procreate from the foundational purpose of government-sanctioned domestic partnerships, why then would a brother be forbidden to marry his sister or first cousins be forbidden to marry? We have abortion to take care of any potentially malformed progeny so what’s the big deal as long as they’re both consenting adults? If we’re going for equality, let’s go all the way… Just keep it out of my religion, please.

  • Handsome

    I find it despicable to have constant criticisms of those who are gay. I have a bigoted relationship within my family who claims that it is a choice. Obviously, she is entitled to her opinion. However, she has numerous other opinions that do not square with the truth.
    Needless to say, she does not have many friends.

  • Kim Marie

    Congratulations to George and his partner… George is an talented, inspirational human being and he and his partner deserve to be happy!!! All the best to the newlyweds!

  • Angelia Irizarry

    So well said! I’m a black female married to a white guy and not too long ago our relationship wasn’t recognized by the law. My problem with this whole thing is folks are trying to make it a religious issue. It’s not! This is a legal issue. Has absolutely nothing to do with someone’s church beliefs aside from offending them! Oh well! What’s new there? Nothing! Anyway, the decision on whether or not to legalize gay marriage should be based on what just makes sense not on whether or not the Bible says so. This is for Caesar to decide,folks, not the church elders! Church and state are supposed to be two separate entities. As I’m sure there are still churches and groups that believe my relationship and even my child, who is biracial, are considered abominations in the eyes of their chosen deity it is the government that says it’s perfectly legal.

    • Jay Turberville

      Biracial? Here’s the interesting thing. “Race” it turns out, seems to be something very hard to pin down. We tend to think of it from the visual cues, but it seems that our “real” genetic differences (our ancestry) don’t track that well with these visual cues. Historically, our thinking about race has been quite literally very superficial. It seems likely that our thinking about sexuality and human sexuality is similarly superficial. Relying on ancient texts for guidance in these areas seems pretty silly to me.

  • joe

    What an idiot. He thinks only the “FOX NEWS crowd” are the ones buying up guns & ammo. You cant fix his kind of stupid, it must be killed.

  • larry

    I can’t wait til people fight for my right to marry my son, it’s so unfair! We love each other, but people are too ignorant to realize that it’s the same as anyone else’s love!

    • ScottyBob

      See here! This is what’s wrong with the republican party. They’re so stupid and inbred they think incest is love.

  • Logical or Not

    All of this is as exciting and as logical as the spelling of Robert Loggia’s name in family guy….
    Robert Loggia on family guy – YouTube

  • Tanya Martinez

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